What defines a relationship verses a friendship? Just the sex and the affection? Why is it that most people change when they call themselves actually having a "girlfriend"? To me, it's suppose to come from a strong friendship basis with a romantic interest. Cause if your lover can't be your friend, then what good are they?
It's important I think to still be allowed your individuality - your own time, your own friends. I thought it was cool to be wrapped up in each other, but honestly, tends to drive you crazy. How can your heart actually miss the one you love if you're with 24/7? Having a separate time allows you to get together and talk about your day, different experiences, different views.
Ah, communication, the corner stone to make it all work. Its the worst trait that I have. It's not that I try to hide it, just don't think to say much. Feelings and emotions are hard to talk/discuss as much as an emotional person I am. But, this is the part that I'm always trying to change and develop and work on. Especially when I want to keep people in my life. Friendships, relationships, anything - communication is a big factor. And I know within myself, I have to tell myself that it's ok to talk, and that if the other person judges me, then there not someone I need to be talking to.
I have to be able to TRUST the person. And it's something I didn't even know I had problems with. I didn't know I had such problems trying to trust someone, but also another point I am working on with every fiber of my being. It's always easier to change things when you know what it is you want to change.
I think, for me, the only thing I really want, is for someone to want me back. I want to be a better man for me, not for anyone else, and not because they told me too.
Think, the four corner stones of a relationship -
trust, communication, desire/attraction, and willingness.
How fluid is sexuality? I mean, if you are with a guy and you want to be with woman does it really make you bi or does it just mean you can be connected with anyone. Don't get me wrong, I like girls as much as the next lesbian, but I have a lot of bi friends or bi curious friends who have the hardest time with things because they can't explain their attraction. I can't help out completely.
ONCE AGAIN, I AM FULL LESBIAN.
So what is it when you're messin around with someone but they're not your girlfriend.. is it called dating?
Is it wrong or strange to mess around with more than one person at once?
What is the difference between dating and friends with benefits?
I know fuck buddy is kinda someone you don't even talk to but just there to help with a stress relief.
So what do you call someone you can come home to and still pretend you're in a relationship, but still go out and date? What a way to test communication and honesty and trust huh?
Wouldn't that be called an open relationship?
anyone have any answers? Im actually very curious...
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Silence in the Tears
She wears that smile on her face
to distract from the sadness in her eyes
She worries about the well being of her friends
to distract from the truth of her own.
She listens to the problems of others
as it serves from an escape of her own
She lies down at night crying
silent tears that no one knows.
She drops subtle hints when she loses it
but then puts it back under control
She runs away from the smothering emptiness
to find anything to fill the void
She fights herself, hides the visible scars
has a million excuses as to which way and how
She never explains, never tells, what is on her mind
she doesn't feel that anyone would listen
She works to forget the pain inside
and focuses on her giving
Quickly wipes the tears when someone asks
anything bout her personal well being
and changes the subject to something else
she's just a girl, though she tries to fight
and tries to hide to a different world
a different place so she's not her own
perhaps this way she won't be alone
perhaps this way the tears won't be so loud
as they silently roll down her face.
Just need an escape from her head and mind
So she goes back to her present time
and does the best that she knows how
to eliminate the future...
She lies on the floor, in a hidden corner
crying silent tears into the night.
to distract from the sadness in her eyes
She worries about the well being of her friends
to distract from the truth of her own.
She listens to the problems of others
as it serves from an escape of her own
She lies down at night crying
silent tears that no one knows.
She drops subtle hints when she loses it
but then puts it back under control
She runs away from the smothering emptiness
to find anything to fill the void
She fights herself, hides the visible scars
has a million excuses as to which way and how
She never explains, never tells, what is on her mind
she doesn't feel that anyone would listen
She works to forget the pain inside
and focuses on her giving
Quickly wipes the tears when someone asks
anything bout her personal well being
and changes the subject to something else
she's just a girl, though she tries to fight
and tries to hide to a different world
a different place so she's not her own
perhaps this way she won't be alone
perhaps this way the tears won't be so loud
as they silently roll down her face.
Just need an escape from her head and mind
So she goes back to her present time
and does the best that she knows how
to eliminate the future...
She lies on the floor, in a hidden corner
crying silent tears into the night.
Dating the Individual
My roommate a while ago was on a "Sex in the City" kick. I think I kinda am too. But in one of the episodes Samantha goes on a rant about gay guys and sexuality. Says something to the effect of how "in the future it won't even matter even more who's straight, or gay or bi. It won't matter if they're dating someone from the same sex, just that they're dating an individual."
It struck a cord in me, "dating an individual", I mean, I can see what she's talking about. It shouldn't matter if the person you're in love with or dating is someone of the opposite or same sex. All that should matter is if you are attracted to that person = mind, body, and soul. It's been something I was struggling with (especially with "coming out") because it makes me feel a bit of a traitor for having that way of thinking. I mean, people say "I can't help it, God made me this way" I don't think God made anyone Gay per say, I just don't think it matters. God made it so that you don't see lines, so that you have the capability to love and be with another one of his creatures. Now, if you stick to a particular gender great, if you don't care about gender and see all sexes as equally attractive, great. The point is, it shouldn't really matter. There shouldn't be a distinction line between who can get married and who can't. There shouldn't be a distinction line between what sex gets into heaven and who can't. Only because there is no distinction line. (Not trying to get to much into the religious aspect of it but - Yes, sexuality in the sense of ritual practices and worship is wrong, lust is wrong, (we all do it anyway, but that's a different story) but the only sexual perversion or displeasing lies with the fact that man puts SEX before God sometimes. There are more verses in the bible going against "heterosexuals" and sexual acts) Labels, categories, hooray for pride week because it's the only chance we have to show that WE WANT THE SAME THINGS - TO BE WITH THE PERSON WE LOVE (at least that is my thought).
But then I think, if we were all the same, if people really didn't have a problem, there would be no controversy, no struggles, and then some loves wouldn't make it because they have nothing to make themselves as individuals or as a couple to make themselves stronger. There would be no reason for my blog ( ).
So is it possible for the terms to be a fad, and for it to all blend from hetero and homo to individuals? Would we really want that?
It struck a cord in me, "dating an individual", I mean, I can see what she's talking about. It shouldn't matter if the person you're in love with or dating is someone of the opposite or same sex. All that should matter is if you are attracted to that person = mind, body, and soul. It's been something I was struggling with (especially with "coming out") because it makes me feel a bit of a traitor for having that way of thinking. I mean, people say "I can't help it, God made me this way" I don't think God made anyone Gay per say, I just don't think it matters. God made it so that you don't see lines, so that you have the capability to love and be with another one of his creatures. Now, if you stick to a particular gender great, if you don't care about gender and see all sexes as equally attractive, great. The point is, it shouldn't really matter. There shouldn't be a distinction line between who can get married and who can't. There shouldn't be a distinction line between what sex gets into heaven and who can't. Only because there is no distinction line. (Not trying to get to much into the religious aspect of it but - Yes, sexuality in the sense of ritual practices and worship is wrong, lust is wrong, (we all do it anyway, but that's a different story) but the only sexual perversion or displeasing lies with the fact that man puts SEX before God sometimes. There are more verses in the bible going against "heterosexuals" and sexual acts) Labels, categories, hooray for pride week because it's the only chance we have to show that WE WANT THE SAME THINGS - TO BE WITH THE PERSON WE LOVE (at least that is my thought).
But then I think, if we were all the same, if people really didn't have a problem, there would be no controversy, no struggles, and then some loves wouldn't make it because they have nothing to make themselves as individuals or as a couple to make themselves stronger. There would be no reason for my blog ( ).
So is it possible for the terms to be a fad, and for it to all blend from hetero and homo to individuals? Would we really want that?
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