What defines a relationship verses a friendship? Just the sex and the affection? Why is it that most people change when they call themselves actually having a "girlfriend"? To me, it's suppose to come from a strong friendship basis with a romantic interest. Cause if your lover can't be your friend, then what good are they?
It's important I think to still be allowed your individuality - your own time, your own friends. I thought it was cool to be wrapped up in each other, but honestly, tends to drive you crazy. How can your heart actually miss the one you love if you're with 24/7? Having a separate time allows you to get together and talk about your day, different experiences, different views.
Ah, communication, the corner stone to make it all work. Its the worst trait that I have. It's not that I try to hide it, just don't think to say much. Feelings and emotions are hard to talk/discuss as much as an emotional person I am. But, this is the part that I'm always trying to change and develop and work on. Especially when I want to keep people in my life. Friendships, relationships, anything - communication is a big factor. And I know within myself, I have to tell myself that it's ok to talk, and that if the other person judges me, then there not someone I need to be talking to.
I have to be able to TRUST the person. And it's something I didn't even know I had problems with. I didn't know I had such problems trying to trust someone, but also another point I am working on with every fiber of my being. It's always easier to change things when you know what it is you want to change.
I think, for me, the only thing I really want, is for someone to want me back. I want to be a better man for me, not for anyone else, and not because they told me too.
Think, the four corner stones of a relationship -
trust, communication, desire/attraction, and willingness.
How fluid is sexuality? I mean, if you are with a guy and you want to be with woman does it really make you bi or does it just mean you can be connected with anyone. Don't get me wrong, I like girls as much as the next lesbian, but I have a lot of bi friends or bi curious friends who have the hardest time with things because they can't explain their attraction. I can't help out completely.
ONCE AGAIN, I AM FULL LESBIAN.
So what is it when you're messin around with someone but they're not your girlfriend.. is it called dating?
Is it wrong or strange to mess around with more than one person at once?
What is the difference between dating and friends with benefits?
I know fuck buddy is kinda someone you don't even talk to but just there to help with a stress relief.
So what do you call someone you can come home to and still pretend you're in a relationship, but still go out and date? What a way to test communication and honesty and trust huh?
Wouldn't that be called an open relationship?
anyone have any answers? Im actually very curious...
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Silence in the Tears
She wears that smile on her face
to distract from the sadness in her eyes
She worries about the well being of her friends
to distract from the truth of her own.
She listens to the problems of others
as it serves from an escape of her own
She lies down at night crying
silent tears that no one knows.
She drops subtle hints when she loses it
but then puts it back under control
She runs away from the smothering emptiness
to find anything to fill the void
She fights herself, hides the visible scars
has a million excuses as to which way and how
She never explains, never tells, what is on her mind
she doesn't feel that anyone would listen
She works to forget the pain inside
and focuses on her giving
Quickly wipes the tears when someone asks
anything bout her personal well being
and changes the subject to something else
she's just a girl, though she tries to fight
and tries to hide to a different world
a different place so she's not her own
perhaps this way she won't be alone
perhaps this way the tears won't be so loud
as they silently roll down her face.
Just need an escape from her head and mind
So she goes back to her present time
and does the best that she knows how
to eliminate the future...
She lies on the floor, in a hidden corner
crying silent tears into the night.
to distract from the sadness in her eyes
She worries about the well being of her friends
to distract from the truth of her own.
She listens to the problems of others
as it serves from an escape of her own
She lies down at night crying
silent tears that no one knows.
She drops subtle hints when she loses it
but then puts it back under control
She runs away from the smothering emptiness
to find anything to fill the void
She fights herself, hides the visible scars
has a million excuses as to which way and how
She never explains, never tells, what is on her mind
she doesn't feel that anyone would listen
She works to forget the pain inside
and focuses on her giving
Quickly wipes the tears when someone asks
anything bout her personal well being
and changes the subject to something else
she's just a girl, though she tries to fight
and tries to hide to a different world
a different place so she's not her own
perhaps this way she won't be alone
perhaps this way the tears won't be so loud
as they silently roll down her face.
Just need an escape from her head and mind
So she goes back to her present time
and does the best that she knows how
to eliminate the future...
She lies on the floor, in a hidden corner
crying silent tears into the night.
Dating the Individual
My roommate a while ago was on a "Sex in the City" kick. I think I kinda am too. But in one of the episodes Samantha goes on a rant about gay guys and sexuality. Says something to the effect of how "in the future it won't even matter even more who's straight, or gay or bi. It won't matter if they're dating someone from the same sex, just that they're dating an individual."
It struck a cord in me, "dating an individual", I mean, I can see what she's talking about. It shouldn't matter if the person you're in love with or dating is someone of the opposite or same sex. All that should matter is if you are attracted to that person = mind, body, and soul. It's been something I was struggling with (especially with "coming out") because it makes me feel a bit of a traitor for having that way of thinking. I mean, people say "I can't help it, God made me this way" I don't think God made anyone Gay per say, I just don't think it matters. God made it so that you don't see lines, so that you have the capability to love and be with another one of his creatures. Now, if you stick to a particular gender great, if you don't care about gender and see all sexes as equally attractive, great. The point is, it shouldn't really matter. There shouldn't be a distinction line between who can get married and who can't. There shouldn't be a distinction line between what sex gets into heaven and who can't. Only because there is no distinction line. (Not trying to get to much into the religious aspect of it but - Yes, sexuality in the sense of ritual practices and worship is wrong, lust is wrong, (we all do it anyway, but that's a different story) but the only sexual perversion or displeasing lies with the fact that man puts SEX before God sometimes. There are more verses in the bible going against "heterosexuals" and sexual acts) Labels, categories, hooray for pride week because it's the only chance we have to show that WE WANT THE SAME THINGS - TO BE WITH THE PERSON WE LOVE (at least that is my thought).
But then I think, if we were all the same, if people really didn't have a problem, there would be no controversy, no struggles, and then some loves wouldn't make it because they have nothing to make themselves as individuals or as a couple to make themselves stronger. There would be no reason for my blog ( ).
So is it possible for the terms to be a fad, and for it to all blend from hetero and homo to individuals? Would we really want that?
It struck a cord in me, "dating an individual", I mean, I can see what she's talking about. It shouldn't matter if the person you're in love with or dating is someone of the opposite or same sex. All that should matter is if you are attracted to that person = mind, body, and soul. It's been something I was struggling with (especially with "coming out") because it makes me feel a bit of a traitor for having that way of thinking. I mean, people say "I can't help it, God made me this way" I don't think God made anyone Gay per say, I just don't think it matters. God made it so that you don't see lines, so that you have the capability to love and be with another one of his creatures. Now, if you stick to a particular gender great, if you don't care about gender and see all sexes as equally attractive, great. The point is, it shouldn't really matter. There shouldn't be a distinction line between who can get married and who can't. There shouldn't be a distinction line between what sex gets into heaven and who can't. Only because there is no distinction line. (Not trying to get to much into the religious aspect of it but - Yes, sexuality in the sense of ritual practices and worship is wrong, lust is wrong, (we all do it anyway, but that's a different story) but the only sexual perversion or displeasing lies with the fact that man puts SEX before God sometimes. There are more verses in the bible going against "heterosexuals" and sexual acts) Labels, categories, hooray for pride week because it's the only chance we have to show that WE WANT THE SAME THINGS - TO BE WITH THE PERSON WE LOVE (at least that is my thought).
But then I think, if we were all the same, if people really didn't have a problem, there would be no controversy, no struggles, and then some loves wouldn't make it because they have nothing to make themselves as individuals or as a couple to make themselves stronger. There would be no reason for my blog ( ).
So is it possible for the terms to be a fad, and for it to all blend from hetero and homo to individuals? Would we really want that?
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
It's All About Being Connected
Where's My Lesbian....
Where's My Lesbian Artist
Where's My Lesbian Poet
Where's My Lesbian Community
Where Is Your Lesbian?
This site is all about showcasing you - what a lesbian, gay, transgender, gender queer and allies are like. What started off as a fun play on words has grown into a site collecting poetry, videos, artwork, blogs and more from the LGBTQ community. Share with the community your best stuff and find other like minded members who share your same passion for the art of expression.
Be sure to browse our archives of events and articles to see what the LGBTQ community is doing world wide. Share your own articles or events that you would love to see community support
It's all about being connected....
Feel like you need a real connection? Or a place to express yourself where you will actually be heard? Maybe you just need advice or resources. Or perhaps you are tired of nothing but fake people on multiple dating sites? This is the place to make a connection, to be a part of something bigger than just your world.
Where's My Lesbian is a site dedicated to creating a community of thinkers, artists, musicians, and more. This site is about your world and sharing it with everyone. Be a part of the community by posting in the forums. Showcase your talent by spouting off your poetry or uploading your best pieces of artwork. Browse for other members who share your interest and get connected through emails or comments. Let your voice be heard through commenting on articles or voting for pics, videos, games or music. Kick back and play some games, watch some tv, listen to music, or read the latest subscriptions or interviews. Please be courteous to your fellow man (woman) and be respectable in this community.
Guess, all that is left to do now is to ask yourself....
WHERE DO YOU FIT IN?
Where's My Lesbian Artist
Where's My Lesbian Poet
Where's My Lesbian Community
Where Is Your Lesbian?
This site is all about showcasing you - what a lesbian, gay, transgender, gender queer and allies are like. What started off as a fun play on words has grown into a site collecting poetry, videos, artwork, blogs and more from the LGBTQ community. Share with the community your best stuff and find other like minded members who share your same passion for the art of expression.
Be sure to browse our archives of events and articles to see what the LGBTQ community is doing world wide. Share your own articles or events that you would love to see community support
It's all about being connected....
Feel like you need a real connection? Or a place to express yourself where you will actually be heard? Maybe you just need advice or resources. Or perhaps you are tired of nothing but fake people on multiple dating sites? This is the place to make a connection, to be a part of something bigger than just your world.
Where's My Lesbian is a site dedicated to creating a community of thinkers, artists, musicians, and more. This site is about your world and sharing it with everyone. Be a part of the community by posting in the forums. Showcase your talent by spouting off your poetry or uploading your best pieces of artwork. Browse for other members who share your interest and get connected through emails or comments. Let your voice be heard through commenting on articles or voting for pics, videos, games or music. Kick back and play some games, watch some tv, listen to music, or read the latest subscriptions or interviews. Please be courteous to your fellow man (woman) and be respectable in this community.
Guess, all that is left to do now is to ask yourself....
WHERE DO YOU FIT IN?
Monday, August 31, 2009
Dance Your Ass Off Ruben
So, we're down to Dance Your Ass Off finals and I couldn't be more excited. Well, actually I could but that's because I messed up and saw the spoilers.
Despite spoiling the fun for myself, I can't wait for the arise of all the "Dance Your Ass Off" hate blogs and homophobic webpages protesting the fact that Ruben even had the chance to win. It's really sad that people have to find something to rag on about the show. From the exploitation of "fat" people, to the exposure to gayness, this show has something for every bible thumping, self-image bashing, insecure American to complain about.
If you can do nothing but complain about the show - DON'T WATCH IT! There are plenty of things to watch on TV and you watching it and complaining about it doesn't make the world listen to you. Just makes us laugh because it's not that important.
Why are people complaining?
First, it's the exploitation of fat people. Again with the determining what the whole community feels. If these people chose to do the show, it's not exploiting them if they choose to do this for their own benefit and profit. The chance at $100,000 prize, the chance to be on TV, The chance to actually change their lives and the chance to be apart of the reality TV circuit which could lead for other opportunities. Oxygen may have came up with the idea, but the contestants made it their choice to do it. They are in no way spokes people for the "fat" community, and Oxygen is not to blame for it. All the fully capable adult dancers made the choice on their own.
Second, "Ruben being on the show is a bad influence for my child. How do I explain this to them". REALLY? I would hope for the sake of the child that the parents would allow a little open mindedness and not explain Ruben and his partner in such an awkward situation.The child is going to grow up seeing same-sex couples all their life. They are going to be exposed to a lot more than that. Why not teach them open mindedness, love, understanding, mercy, compassion and acceptance instead of judgment, bias, and hate. As humans, they will develop that on their own with no help, so as someone children look up to, we should be able to show/teach them the better of the values/morals shouldn't we?
Third, "If Ruben really cared about his partner, why doesn't he go home"? Ruben's partner is suffering from cancer. The company John(his partner) had worked for has canceled the insurance. The winner of the show is $100,000. If you know you had a skill (no matter what the cost or humiliation may be) wouldn't you use it at all advantages to save your loved one?
Fourth, "RUBEN can't dance". Everyone's a critic. I guess, to find out the truth to this you just have to watch.
Dance Your Ass Off - Mondays on Oxygen
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Reba Loves ALL her fans
Karen: My girlfriend sent me an article this morning about one of my favorite singers in the Country Music circuit. There was this article about Reba McEntire talking about how she loves ALL her friends.
These two quotes pop out the most when I read the article -
"Addressing her more conservative fans who may not appreciate or understand her being interviewed in a gay publication, Reba says simply, "I just try not to judge. Don't judge me, and I won't judge you. And that's what it says in the Bible -- 'Don't judge.'""
"Keep an open mind," the singer continues. "That would be my voice. I have gay friends. I have a lot of straight friends. I don't judge them. I take them for what they are. They're my friends, and I can't defend my feelings for them, other than I like 'em.""
(quotes pulled from The Boot - http://www.theboot.com/2009/08/19/reba-mcentire-keeps-on-loving-gay-fans-too/)
I was checking out the comments on the site and I was so upset to see the number of comments - most from hard core fans of hers - criticizing her because she was so accepting. Alot of the comments said the same thing - that her comment about not passing judgment is the wrong. That it was sinful to be homosexual and that all she is doing is turning a blind eye to a sinful behavior. Of course, you find the comments that mention she had to say that because she's a business woman and it's all about the money.
People are so mean. I couldn't believe they are tearing her apart on her whole "judge not least ye be judged" scripture. Are they seriously nitpicking because tearing apart anything that puts homosexuality in an accepting light makes them feel uncomfortable? Do they feel uncomfortable because they strongly, religiously, honestly feel God says other wise or because they don't know the bible and that's all they can pick out to make themselves feel more like a Christian?
What's wrong with people? I've never seen people be son angry and against anything else except homosexuality (at least these days. Perhaps we are the hate trend of the decade? A passing hateful fad?)
These two quotes pop out the most when I read the article -
"Addressing her more conservative fans who may not appreciate or understand her being interviewed in a gay publication, Reba says simply, "I just try not to judge. Don't judge me, and I won't judge you. And that's what it says in the Bible -- 'Don't judge.'""
"Keep an open mind," the singer continues. "That would be my voice. I have gay friends. I have a lot of straight friends. I don't judge them. I take them for what they are. They're my friends, and I can't defend my feelings for them, other than I like 'em.""
(quotes pulled from The Boot - http://www.theboot.com/2009/08/19/reba-mcentire-keeps-on-loving-gay-fans-too/)
I was checking out the comments on the site and I was so upset to see the number of comments - most from hard core fans of hers - criticizing her because she was so accepting. Alot of the comments said the same thing - that her comment about not passing judgment is the wrong. That it was sinful to be homosexual and that all she is doing is turning a blind eye to a sinful behavior. Of course, you find the comments that mention she had to say that because she's a business woman and it's all about the money.
People are so mean. I couldn't believe they are tearing her apart on her whole "judge not least ye be judged" scripture. Are they seriously nitpicking because tearing apart anything that puts homosexuality in an accepting light makes them feel uncomfortable? Do they feel uncomfortable because they strongly, religiously, honestly feel God says other wise or because they don't know the bible and that's all they can pick out to make themselves feel more like a Christian?
What's wrong with people? I've never seen people be son angry and against anything else except homosexuality (at least these days. Perhaps we are the hate trend of the decade? A passing hateful fad?)
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